Nyna Love

2011-03-12T14:58:00.003+08:00

"Kita jatuh cinta bukan kerna paras rupa,
atau harta benda yg di idami manusia.
Seharusnya kita bersyukur kepada tuhan
kerna mengecapi bahagia, selagi hayat ada..."

I fell for you cos I just did. Even though you're willing to give me anotha chance, I still feel guilty for what had happened. I'm sorry dear.

You've asked me once if I'd ever fall for a guy like you and honestly, I don know. But I'm deeply touched by your sincerety. It just moved me. And yes, I've fallen for you now. I hope you'll give me time to understand you. We're definitely not rushing things.

"...Tak perlu mencari teman secantik Balqis,
andai diri tak sehebat Sulaiman.
Mengapa mengharapkan teman setampan Yusof,
jika kasih tak setulus Zulaikha.
Tak perlu mengharapkan teman seteguh Ibrahim,
andai diri tak sekuat Siti Hajar.
Dan mengapa didambakan teman hidup bak Siti Khadijah,
seandainya diri tak sempurna Rasulullah s.a.w.

Bimbinglah dirinya,
dan terimalah kekurangan itu sebagai satu keunikan.
Carilah kebaikan pada dirinya,
dan bersyukurlah kerana dipertemukan dengannya.
Berdo'a pada tuhan agar dia akan terus menjadi milikmu"

2010-07-16T13:30:00.006+08:00

"...The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot

be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart"

So many things had happened in sucha short period of time.
And yes, time is not being friendly with me day by day.

The news was truly shocking, but thats reality.
We have to accept the fact and get over it, get back to life and move on.
Its not easy, I don't deny this.
But thats the best we can do.
Let the mystery be kept that way.
Sometimes, some things are best kept unknown.
Rmmbr I told u this?

Let it be a learning point for you and me.

I wrote a summary of what happened.
Of course, I asked for her permission before doing so
as I dont wish to upset her further.
Tho I've not submitted it, I'll post it here, to share.
As they say, sharing is caring.
=)

“Innalillahi wa inna illaihi rajiun. Bila ini semua terjadi? Di mana dia sekarang?”

Aku sangat terkejut tatkala mendengar berita dari sepupunya, Zarrin. Kematian Ryan sungguh tidak dijangkakan. Kami baru saja bertemu kelmarin sebelum dia berangkat ke Australia untuk tugasannya. Kini, aku mendapat khabar yang sungguh menyedihkan. Dia kemalangan semasa di sana dan kehilangan darah yang banyak. Ryan meninggal dua hari selepas dirawat di hospital.

Aku dan Ryan pernah bercinta dua tahun yang lalu. Dia seorang jejaka yang pandai menambat hati seorang gadis. Aku tertarik kepadanya kerana keikhlasannya untuk bersamaku. Aku amat menyayanginya. Namun apakan daya, percintaan kami diputuskan dengan berita yang menghampakan. Ryan telahpun bertunang semasa bersamaku. Dia akan bernikah tidak lama lagi.

Namun begitu, aku tidak pernah membencinya. Di mataku, Ryan adalah lelaki yang baik. Dia tidak pernah megecewakanku. Malah, dia sentiasa berada di sisiku tiap kali kuperlukan seseorang. Dia sering berdampingan denganku meskipun dia sudah bertunangan. Seringkali, aku berdoa dia akan pulang kembali kepangkuanku. Namun aku sedar, dia bukan milikku.

Aku menelefon teman karibku untuk memberitahu tentang kematiannya. Oleh kerana dia meninggal di Australia, jasadnya tidak dapat dibawa pulang ke Singapura. Dia akan dikebumikan di sana.

Aku ingin menafikan kenyataan bahawa Ryan sudah tiada. Mungkin Ryan menyuruh sepupunya untuk beritahuku tentang kematiannya agar aku dapat melupakannya. Mungkin ini semua dongengan. Namun keesokan harinya aku mendapat pesanan dari Zarrin yang menjemputku untuk menghadiri majlis kenduri arwah Ryan. Aku tidak lagi dapat menafikan berita yang disampaikan.

Zarrin juga mengatakan bahawa dia perlu memberitahuku sesuatu tentang Ryan. Sesuatu perkara yang tidak pernah kuketahui. Aku menjangkakan sesuatu perkara yang baik. Aku dibelenggu keresahan. Aku ingin mengetahuinya tetapi aku takut berita yang ingin disampaikan akan menghampakanku lagi.

Aku ke majlis kenduri itu bersama teman karibku. Tunangnya juga turut ada di situ. Namun dia tidak mengenaliku. Aku cuba untuk menahan kesedihan yang terpendam. Namun airmataku berlinangan di pipi tatkala namanya disebut oleh imam di masjid. Aku amat merinduinya.

Setelah majlis kenduri itu berakhir, Zarrin menemuiku untuk menyampaikan sepucuk surat. Surat yang ditulis Ryan sebelum dia ke Australia. Surat yang telah diamanahkan kepada Zarrin untuk disampaikan kepadaku.

Zarrin mula menceritakan tentang Ryan. Perkara yang tidak pernah terlintas di fikiranku. Ryan sebenarnya adalah seorang bapa ayam dan pengedar dadah. Mustahil Ryan yang begitu penyayang orangnya terlibat dalam jenayah sebegitu.

Selama aku bersamanya, dia tidak pernah melakukan perkara yang mencurigakan. Aku juga tidak pernah mengesyakinya. Aku amat mempercayainya. Meskipun dia sering mengatakan bahawa dia menginap di salah sebuah hotel di kawasan Geylang kerana terlalu penat untuk pulang ke rumah. Aku masih lagi tidak berasa sangsi terhadapnya. Aku tidak ingin menerima hakikatnya bahawa dia sebenarnya sebegitu. Aku masih lagi menganggapnya seperti seorang jejaka yang tulus ikhlas bersamaku.

Aku membaca surat yang disampaikan Zarrin sejenak kutiba di rumah. Ryan meminta maaf, dan menyatakan niatnya yang sebenar ketika berada di Australia.

“…Riana sayang, Ryan ingin meminta maaf terlebih dahulu kerana tidak berterus terang dengan Riana. Ryan tidak mahu tanggapan Ryan terhadap Riana musnah tatkala Riana tahu tentang diri Ryan yang sebenar.

Ryan sedar Ryan silap. Namun, Ryan terpaksa melakukan ini semua. Ryan tidak punyai pilihan yang lain. Ryan telahpun terlibat dengan pengedaran dadah semenjak Ryan berumur tujuh belas tahun. Ryan terpaksa melakukan apa yang disuruh agar dapat wang untuk menampung ketagihan Ryan. Tanpa dadah, Ryan tidak boleh hidup. Ryan perlukan itu.

Ryan minta maaf kerana telah menghancurkan hati Riana. Namun, inilah hakikatnya. Maafkan Ryan, sayang.”

Itulah yang dikatakan oleh Ryan. Itulah hakikat yang harus kuterima. Aku kesal kerana tidak dapat membaca apa yang telah tersirat dari awal lagi. Aku terpaksa melalui detik-detik ini. Hatiku yang terluka, tiada siapa yang mengetahui.

2010-06-29T12:46:00.002+08:00

Monday was well spent.
Despite having sat for my E & A Maths paper, which I doubt I did well,
went out to meet my Precious babies.

Bonding session with Farah & Isha was great.
Had our uber late lunch at McD, get Isha to take her nap,
Walked aroung at Chinatown, then proceed to Farah's place; LEPAK !

Everything was unplanned. Farah asked for her eyebrow to be thread.
Then she buffered and manicured my nails. Thx many2 beb! I love the colour,
but sayang kene cuci sbb sch. Now my kuku is damn sharp. I Loike! =)

Had my E maths paper 2 today. I think it was average.
Though I cant do the last two Questions.
I'm prepared for the worst for my E & A maths results.
Coz I didnt focus much on the subject.
I've been revising on my Chemistry lately, and
tomorrow shall be my Chem paper 2.

And, I really wanna go for that Intensive class.
And I need to work.

2010-06-23T14:42:00.002+08:00

All my fun days shall end really soon.
In fact, it's gotta end now.

Prelim starting real soon, yet I've not done my
revision except for Chemistry & A. Maths.
I might have to let Prelim 1 pass,
and focus real hard on Prelim 2,
before sitting for my O.

I got a new comment from dearest classmate.
I guess the happenings tt are ongoing in my lyf
is indeed a blessing in disguise.
She said tt I seemed to be a happier person now.
Which is true.
I'm really enjoying & cherishing what I have now;
Friends & Family.

I'm aware tt in Lyf, there's owaes the ups and the downs.
And, there'll owaes be moments where otha people
are envious of what you have or what you are.
Whatever it is, U won't pull me down.
I'll just grow stronger by the day and
learn something new from what had happened.
I just hope tt U grow up cos by displaying such acts,
Ure showing me how immature you are being.

I'm not posting this to anyone in particular,
just for the general.
If you insist its for you, I have nothing to say.
My conscience is clear.

2010-06-09T18:11:00.006+08:00

It's a brand new day, And I wanna make the right start . . . . .

It seems tt so many things had happened in sucha short while.
My mind seemed to be in a whirlwind for a moment.
But I'm thankful for having sucha Wonderful companies by my side.

I felt truly relieved and enlightened afta doing what I did.
And I believe, its the ryte thing to do.

On Monday, I spent my afternoon dating my beloved GF Nana at Starbucks.
We talked abt a lot of stuff. We reminisced the tyme we used to had.
So glad we did tt Na!
In the evening, spent my tym with Hafiz.
Its been sucha long, long tym since I contacted hym.
In fact, it's been two years. And I didnt expect to be in touch with hym again.
I felt truly refreshed talking to my loved ones.
I guess, listening to someone else's experience really made me learn a lot.
And, it really does when you share the same experience with them.

Yesterday, spent the whole day with GF Nana again. haha.
Was supposed to accompany her for lunch,
after which she'd go off for her dance class.
But suddenly, she didnt feel lyk gg,
and we stayed out the whole day & nyt.
Na, thx eh bakar2 brg utk aku. best uh.
I cant bring myself to do tt.
Tts when Nana comes in. And really,
I feel light in the chest afta doing tt.

Layta in the evening, met up with Hafiz & hys pals.
Sucha kewl bunch of ppl who loves to joke ard.
Atleast, for tt tym being, I forgot what I'm supposed to think abt.

Hafiz, cant believe the three of us had the same storyline.
It was great listening to yr story ystrday.
I really feel much better afta talking it out with u, and of cos, Nana.
Thx beb, for everything. =)

I tried hiding it from my parents BUT being Ibu,
she knows me too well.
I cant hide the truth anymore,
and blurted out evreything.
And I'm glad I did.

For now, everything seems to be going great for me.
I think I'm happier this way.
I'm kissing the Past goodbye, and welcoming the Present & Future!

*********

I'm missing my babygurl Isha badly.
Will meet baby soon ok?

2010-06-02T12:30:00.001+08:00

Hello babies!
I'm taking a short break from my revision so I'll update some stuff aites?

Ferst thing up, I've broken up with Nas for two weeks, I believe.
Since then, we've planned to be good friends.
Everything will be normal, just that instead of a r'ship,
we're jus friends.
My family still accepts hym as a friend of mine,
still invites hym for outings.
I was happy with the way things are.
I thought he undastands me. But I was disappointed.
Throughout that few months that we were togeda,
I guess he only knew me by that bit.

Our breakup isn't an instant break up.
The turns of events made me come to the decision.
And before making that final decision,
I had asked opinions of several people,
most importantly, my Parents.
I thought everything has been settled then.
Since the case is closed, I don't wish to rake it up again.
Lyk I said, Im happy with the way things are now.
I don't wish to have any misundastandings with any otha parties.

You make it sound as if I asked for the break up
because I hv someone else.
Don't you get it still? Even afta ibu spoke to you?
I don't know how else to make u undastand.
I truly appreciate all the things u had done for me.
Yes, YOU were the one who were owaes there for me.
But sadly, YOU don't undastand me.
I've just got one thing to declare.
I didn't ask for a break up due to freedom.
I believe u gave me enuff freedom when I was with u.
I needn't ask more from u when we were togeda back then.

I give up. Since you wana take it that way,
I've got nothing more to say. My conscience is clear.
I just can't make you undastand. But I hope that one fine day,
YOU will.

*********

Secondly, MT O level is finally over!
One subject down, alhamdulillah.
I'm so happy with the karangan I wrote,
because it's a story close to my heart.
Now I'll hv more tym to focus on my Maths & Sciences.
Thx Ayah for paying for the Chem Bootcamp for me.
I'll do my best to improve in my Chemistry.
I won't let otha matters to affect me in my studies.
I still wana pursue my Dream. =)

*********

Third, DIVAS!
I love u gurls! I'm sorry that each tym we have an outing or meet ups,
I'll be the one who have to rush off early.
Its truly coincidental that I have matters on those days.
But no matter what, I owaes appreciate yr presence.
May our Fwenship blooms to no end, ok?
*hugs & kisses*

*********

For now, I'm truly contented with my lyf. =)

2010-05-23T11:54:00.000+08:00

This shall be my new blog.
I'll be on hiatus still.
Intensive coming up, Prelims coming up.
Shall update real soon!

=)